Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Randomize
