I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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