2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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