It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I would ride that face into the sunset
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
