Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Randomize
