the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
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