If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Enjoy the penises
COCAINE IS GR8
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
