i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Randomize
