Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
