when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
True strength comes from lack of pants
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Randomize
