I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Randomize
