is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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