I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
And then my night got REAL pukey
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
