Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
