this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Randomize
