I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
