can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
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