Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
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