Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
