I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
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