i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Randomize
