So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
