dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
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