Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
