My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
if one more of _____'s family tells me "you're next" i'm going to shoot myself. Thank god for gin (most protestant phrase ever at the most Jewish wedding ever)
Ask for a julep and start talking about how you much prefer the uncircumsized peen. that should probably stop them.
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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