ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
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