How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
Non-Jews are for practice
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
she told me i tasted like america
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
