i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
