ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Randomize