I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Randomize
