Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
