There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
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