You're so nebulous sometimes
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
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