Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
