Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
