Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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