we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
