then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Randomize
