grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
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