Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
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