watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
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