what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Randomize
