I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
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