it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
Randomize
