I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
