marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
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