My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
i think i just lost a toe
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
