she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
I love how my cats smell like pot.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Randomize
