um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Randomize
