you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
When are your genitals available?
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
